dicklover3000:

*on a date*

so haha tell me more about your dog

(via sniffing)



cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

(via kimimprobable)


eternalsailor2chainz:

E X C U S E M E YOU ARE E LIST MOTHER FUCKER. IM # FUCKING 1 AND YOURE THROWIN SHADE AT ME??? YOU BETTER FALL THE FUCK BACK WITH YOUR DAD MUSTACHE LOOKIN LIKE YOU HAVIN A MID LIFE CRISIS WEARING SHORTS AND A SNAPBACK. EVEN BLACK MACKLEMORE OVER THERE ON THE LEFT GIVIN THAT SIDE EYE AT YOUR SHITTY OUTFIT. IRRELEVANT ASS BITCH.

eternalsailor2chainz:

E X C U S E M E
YOU ARE E LIST MOTHER FUCKER. IM # FUCKING 1 AND YOURE THROWIN SHADE AT ME??? YOU BETTER FALL THE FUCK BACK WITH YOUR DAD MUSTACHE LOOKIN LIKE YOU HAVIN A MID LIFE CRISIS WEARING SHORTS AND A SNAPBACK. EVEN BLACK MACKLEMORE OVER THERE ON THE LEFT GIVIN THAT SIDE EYE AT YOUR SHITTY OUTFIT. IRRELEVANT ASS BITCH.

(via kimimprobable)


shadesfire:

got bored and decided I needed one of my favorite Welcome to Night Vale tweets as a cross stitch

shadesfire:

got bored and decided I needed one of my favorite Welcome to Night Vale tweets as a cross stitch

(via kimimprobable)



mechacop:

i remember one year in school, our french teacher had to pull the class aside and give us a talk about our final essays because not only did one kid in the class put his paper through Google Translate, but he translated it to Spanish by accident and handed it in thinking it was the correct language.

(via sniffing)



queenoftheshucks:

chaoticbanter:

catsbeaversandducks:

Comic by ©The Oatmeal

I laugh, but it’s frighteningly true

I can’t stop laughing

(via yetanothercriminalmindsfanatic)